How I Wish Trauma Had Been Explained to Me
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Also, sometimes even superficially good, or neutral, experiences can get split off, if theyâre divergent enough from your default view of yourself. One example of this could be a kind of pleasure youâve indulged in but arenât comfortable with. Another could be an element of your personality thatâs enjoyable to inhabit but that youâre scared to acknowledgeââwhatever your equivalent of a âdark sideâ is. (View Highlight)
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The human mind canât completely repress stuff. You canât just forget your pain, and youâre not supposed to be able to. Your mind is built for survival, not comfort. It would be bad if you forgot that snakes were dangerous, so youâre going to remember that snakebite. And, in practical terms, snakebite is often less dangerous than the threat of social isolation or abandonment. So youâre not going to forget moments when you felt deeply humiliated either. (View Highlight)
- Note that people, in general, do not like letting go of their conditioningâit is painful and confusing to let go of your conditioning. Like if youâve been brought up in a culture that tells you that gay people will go to hell, and then you make a gay friend who you donât feel should be tortured eternally, this is going to be horribly confusing. With your old authority figures called into question, itâs not going to be clear whoâs right or whoâs wrong anymore, and it will thus be harder to figure out how to live. (View Highlight)